A dinner with other therapists, who are dear friends, found my mind flooded with thoughts.
" I haven't heard of that treatment plan. Gonna have to research when I get home."
"Oh! I wish I could treat that client, he sounds right up my alley."
"I must sign up for that class"
"I can't believe we have been doing this long enough to be the owners and bosses of our own practices.... To have actual employees!"
Being home with my kids, I didn't notice the shift happening among my peers.
On the ride home I drove in silence mulling over the dinner conversation.
I have never wanted to have full time practice. But I admire the measurable success of my colleagues, the advancement of their careers.
A small part of me wishes I had a fancy title or grade to show how successful I feel as a mother.
I am a much better human being than I was before I had children. I am more patient, passionate, spiritual and confident. And I feel like I am living my purpose.
The next morning began the usual way. My boys and I enjoyed a good cuddle with some books in bed, a big breakfast and a beach walk.
At the beginning of our walk a woman in her 50's approached me.
She initiated a conversation about myboys.
She had stayed home with her 7 children. She talked about the games they played, the places they traveled. She described how many were only a few years apart and lived as roommates in college or apartment mates at the beginning of their careers. I think I counted 3 doctors in the bunch. She was proud of her grown children and proud of her role guiding them along.
I loved her confidence and before she walked away I said,
"It seems like you have a real gift for mothering".
She paused, looked me straight in the eye, pointed at me and said,
"When you have a gift, you use it".
Then turned and walked away.
In that moment I felt surprised, touched and acknowledged.
Funny how she knew what I needed to hear before I did.
